Are you pregnant, have you just had a baby, or do you know a new mother?  Do you want to prevent as many postpartum problems as possible? 

One out of four new mothers who experience mood swings, baby blues, depression or insomnia is prescribed an antidepressant.  It is rarely on the doctor’s radar that the new mom, having just expended enormous nutritional resources in the process of forming her baby’s body and giving birth, may be nutritionally depleted.  It is often the case that symptoms such as mood swings, fatigue, worry, irritability, mental fog and sleep problems are actually caused by nutritional depletion.  Yes, antidepressants can and do help, but they contain no nutrients - and serious nutritional support is essential in order to replenish the new mother’s reserves.

Dr. Dean Raffelock and Stephanie Raffelock of Sound Formulas are out to help change the paradigm of how women are treated in the postpartum period.  Just as we now accept that all pregnant women should have folic acid to prevent certain birth defects, the Raffelocks welcome the day when all new mothers are advised to take post-natal nutrients to help prevent some of the negative effects of childbirth.

Stephanie Raffelock, President of Sound Formulas (www.soundformulas.com), has a passionate desire to be of service to mothers in the arena of health care.  In 1952 her own mother was just one of many who suffered a list of health complaints that included mood swings, exhaustion, insomnia, severe allergies and a general sense of ill being.  Doctors never considered that these problems may have been caused because these mothers had donated nutrients from their own bodies to create their babies’ bodies, and were nutritionally depleted from the process of pregnancy, labor and childbirth.  The cure for great numbers of these women?  Hysterectomy.

I’m glad we live in a different time.  We know more, and we have access to solutions our mothers and grandmothers never dreamed of.  Sound Formulas, for example, makes revolutionary products that provide the precise nutrients, vitamins, minerals, and essential oils that pregnant and postpartum mothers need.  Dr. Raffelock’s book, A Natural Guide to Pregnancy and Postpartum Health, is the first book by doctors devoted entirely to promoting a woman’s health before, during and after pregnancy.

     I am delighted to be hosting a pre-recorded session of The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood internet talk radio show on VoiceAmerica.com next week with Audrey Krisbergh and Deb Cohen, directors of the Center for Parenting Education.  You can take a look at Audrey and Deb’s excellent work and online resources at www.centerforparentingeducation.org .  We are going to be discussing ”Holiday Survival Strategies for New Parents,” which you’ll be able to hear the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  Our goal is to nourish you with an hour of practical tips, valuable advice and solutions you can use to deal with common holiday dilemmas.  

     This is your chance to participate!  Since this is one of the rare times in which we won’t be able to take live calls, I’m asking you to e-mail me at mommymuselive@gmail.com between now and November 18th or comment here on my blog to tell me what you want to know, or what you would like to share with other parents around the world.     If you’re brave, we’d even like to hear some of your holiday disaster stories.  Who knows, maybe the holiday moment you barely survived can help another mom learn what steps to take to avert disasters before they happen! 

     Audrey, Deb and I want to help you and your families have the smoothest, most enjoyable holiday experience possible this year.  We look forward to reading your questions, comments and ideas!

     Did you know that as many as 1 in 4 new dads get postpartum depression?  It’s true!  Just being a parent can be hard, and being the parent of an infant is especially challenging.  If you are a father suffering from exhaustion and anxiety, have lost your sense of humor and are often irritable, angry or otherwise miserable, you might be experiencing PPND (Paternal Postnatal Depression).

     Dr. Will Courtenay – known as  “The Men’s Doc” – is an internationally recognized expert in helping men. His website, www.SadDaddy.com, is a place for men with concerns about depression, anxiety or other problems with mood after the birth of a child. It promotes self-help, provides important information for fathers (including a self-assessment for postpartum depression), hosts an online forum for dads to talk to each other, offers resources, gathers new information about men’s experiences postpartum, and – most importantly – helps fathers to beat the baby blues.

     Join me and Dr. Courtenay on The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood as we discuss the rarely-acknowledged challenges men face while journeying into new fatherhood, and offer strategies that can truly make a difference to you.

     Tune in, and then participate!  Send an email to mommymuselive@gmail.com or phone toll free: 1-866-472-5792.  Tuesday, November 11 at Noon Pacific Time / 3 PM Eastern Time on the VoiceAmerica.com Health and Wellness Channel.

Online therapy, email therapy, virtual therapy, cyber-counseling, e-therapy: they all refer to therapy or counseling using the internet, most often by email.  Online counseling is a powerful tool for helping people to gain insight and resolve the problems that interfere with the quality of their lives.

Therapists typically use email exchanges in online counseling work, and may supplement them with phone sessions (if necessary or requested) at appropriate points in the process.

Pros:

• Online counseling has a liberating effect. People feel safer, and can write about their thoughts, feelings and issues freely. This often allows them to get to the root of problems more quickly than in traditional face-to-face therapy.
   
• The exchange of emails gives you time to reflect on what you’ve written, and what the therapist has said in reply. This inherent time delay can be of great benefit in working through thoughts, feelings, decisions and beliefs.
   
• E-counseling is convenient. You can set your own pace. You can write from the comfort of your own home, and you can send messages at any time of the day or night. In addition, you can write as often as you like, knowing that everything you send will be read, and that you will typically receive a reply within 24 hours. You are free to do whatever feels helpful and comforting to you. You can even send drawings or photos, or arrange a telephone session.
   
• Getting you and your baby out of the house to a face-to-face counseling session can be daunting.  Even if you live where there are no professional counselors, an online counselor can be available to help you right away.
     
• Since online counseling consists of a series of email exchanges, the client and counselor both have permanent records of their “sessions.”  These saved records give both counselor and client an opportunity to review and evaluate their work together.
   
• Virtual counseling costs less than seeing a therapist or coach face-to-face. This is because you are only charged for the time a counselor actually spends reading your emails, composing replies to you, or speaking with you on the phone.

Cons:

In online therapy or phone sessions, therapists cannot watch your facial expressions and other behavior to better understand what you are feeling. Because of this, online counseling is NOT easy for the therapist, despite the fact that it costs the client far less than traditional therapy.

• You need to be able to put your thoughts and feelings into writing, and write about yourself in a fairly articulate way.
   
• Misunderstandings are possible.
   
• Online work is inappropriate for some clients, including people who are currently in crisis or feel suicidal, people with serious emotional problems; people under the age of 18, and people who are not able or willing to put their feelings into writing.
   
• Unlike traditional psychotherapy, online counseling cannot provide formal diagnosis and treatment.
   
• Online counseling has only been done for a few years. It is truly pioneering work, and a bit experimental in nature.

Technology certainly supports this flexible therapeutic modality, allowing cyber-counseling to be a creative tool to provide convenient, affordable, competent therapy.  E-therapy should not to be avoided simply because it veers from the traditional mold any more than it should be embraced because of its novelty.  The quality of a therapist’s training and experience, as well as the goodness of fit between counselor and client are ultimately more important than the setting in which the therapy takes place.  Perhaps you will find virtual therapy worth exploring to see if it is right for you.  I invite you to look further into the online counseling resources we offer at www.Mommy-Muse.com . 

       A mom wrote in today during The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood with this question:

        “My six month old son currently co-sleeps (as of last week). Prior to that, due to a two week growth spurt, he would fall asleep while nursing on his nursing pillow. As a result of that sleeping arrangement, he would only sleep on his nursing pillow while nursing to sleep. I’ve managed to get him to fall asleep on his pillow while nursing then transfer him to our bed without fully waking. Previously, if I set him down, he would wake up fully and not fall asleep until his next nap time. He even went on a two week nap strike which thankfully has ended.  I tried waiting until he was in a deep sleep to set him down, but he would wake up after a very short nap crying and he seemed confused and a bit distrustful - I think this may have contributed to his nap strike. I have been trying the “Pantley pull off method” to get him to sleep after he has finished nursing with mixed results so far, but we are continuing to try (its been about 1 week so far). He refuses a bottle when offered at bedtime and he’ll only fall asleep with me on his pillow nursing at bedtime. He typically falls asleep around 7:30 or 8:00pm (after his bedtime routine) and sleeps until 6:00am waking usually 3-4 times a night. I nurse him back to sleep when he wakes in the middle of the night. Ideally, I would like him to sleep in his crib and through the night. For naps, I do encourage him to sleep in his Snugli, car seat, while bouncing on the exercise ball as you suggest in your book to demonstrate to him that it’s possible to fall asleep in different ways.

        How do I break this sleep association and get him to sleep in his crib through the night?”

Elizabeth’s Solutions:

         “Remember during the interview we talked about the fact that when babies always fall asleep one certain way – such as when your son falls asleep nursing on his nursing pillow. When you wait until he is totally asleep to put him in bed – the last thing he remembers is nursing on the pillow! (Much like if you were to wake up on the kitchen floor – what happened? How did I get here? I’m tired and need to get back to sleep!)  

        The gentle removal process (“Pantley Pull-Off”) is where you remove your baby off the breast before he is fully asleep – and then transfer him to bed while patting and shushing so that he learns to fall asleep without nursing. You should do this same thing each time he wakes up during the night. It means a little stress for you for a week or two – but the results are worth it! 

        In order for your baby to welcome his foreign crib as a place to sleep it can help to get the bed ready for your baby – make it more cozy and welcoming. That way when you transfer him there he’ll be more likely to sleep. A few quick tips: 

-         Have a few cheerful play sessions in the crib throughout the day to make it more familiar.

-         Invest in a quality crib mattress or padded crib mattress cover. Many of the standard mattresses that come with cribs are hard, stiff and plastic coated, making for an uncomfortable sleeping surface. Shop around for a mattress that has a superior cushion, such as those with a foam core. You can also find padded or quilted crib mattress pads that are safe yet much softer than the mattress alone would be.

-         Use soft crib sheets, such as those made of fleece, flannel, terry cloth, or jersey knit. These fabrics are soft and warmer to the touch than traditional crib sheets and less jarring when you first lay your baby down.

-         To ease the transition from your warm body and arms to the crib, warm the bed surface before naptime. You can lay a warm towel (just out of the dryer) on the baby’s spot while you get her ready for bed. (Rub your arm along the entire surface of the bed each time to be sure it is not too hot.”

Want More Information?

      Go to www.pantley.com for sleep logs, parenting information and lots of questions and answers.

                                  Do you suffer through sleepless nights, and then during the day listen to heartless advice to let your baby “cry it out?”  Tune in tomorrow on The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood on the VoiceAmerica.com Health and Wellness channel.  Join me as I interview my well-rested guest, Elizabeth Pantley, to discover how to help your baby fall asleep peacefully – and stay asleep all night long!  We will talk about Elizabeth’s book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep through the Night, available through my helpful resources for new parents link.

        I know first-hand that having adequate sleep can make all the difference in how a mom functions.  Elizabeth, an educator and mother of four, is eager to offer tear-free sleep solutions to fit your personal parenting style.  Download free sleep logs and access helpful information at her website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth .

        We’ll air live tomorrow, Tuesday, November 4th at Noon Pacific Time / 3 PM Eastern Time on the VoiceAmerica.com Health and Wellness Channel.  E-mail me at mommymuselive@gmail.com, and I’ll ask your questions on the air!  If you miss the live show, tune in to the archives at my mini-page, or sign up for free weekly MP3 downloads with e-mail notifications at www.Mommy-Muse.com .

 In Postpartum Survival Strategies: Sleep, Part One, I left off with the question:  “Are you able to sleep when presented with the opportunity?”  What happens if the answer is no? 

Good question.  I personally like to start with natural approaches and move to medicated approaches only if necessary.  First of all, you’ll need to make sleep a priority.  For the time being, it is more important to sleep than to do any non-essential household tasks.  The laundry and dishes can wait.  After all, once you start logging more sleep hours, you will find yourself more efficiently accomplishing daily chores. 

The next step is to set up your sleeping environment to be as sleep-friendly as possible.  Find a way to darken your room for naptimes even during the day.  Sometimes just tacking a sheet up over the regular blinds can help.   Set up an air cleaner or a white noise machine to help mask outside noises (this trick can often help babies sleep more soundly as well).  Unwind by take a bath as a regular part of your bedtime routine.  Play soothing music or guided imagery recordings to lull you to sleep, either on speakers or headphones.  Essential oils, such as lavender, are surprisingly effective for many people.  Another trick is to eat a light snack that is high in complex carbohydrates before sleeping. Sometimes when blood sugar levels drop, our bodies’ natural response is to wake up.  Also consider drinking some warm milk or one of the many safe and effective teas available with herbs like chamomile to help you sleep easier. 

Do avoid alcohol as a sleep inducer.  It is a natural depressant, which frankly, you don’t need.  Current research indicates that It does not help milk let down for breastfeeding.  So despite the popular myth, there’s no point in drinking a beer or a glass of wine to ease nursing.  What alcohol does do is wake you up a few hours after your initial drowsiness, interfering with your much needed rest.   

Do start a sleep log, writing down when and how long you sleep for a week and see if your hours are improving.  If they aren’t, I recommend asking your health care provider if an over the counter or prescription short-acting sleep aid might be right for you.  After my second baby was born, I finally broke down and asked.  My physician recommended a prescription sleep aid with a short half life that was safe to take on a limited basis while nursing.  It allowed me to lie down when my baby slept and actually fall asleep even though I knew perfectly well I would need to wake up to tend to her within an hour and a half.  For me, this made a big difference.

Please be clear, I am advocating sleep, not medication.  There are times, however, when I have not been able to catch hold of the elusive antidote of sleep without a little extra help.  I always recommend checking with your doctor or nurse first, even before taking an over the counter sleep aid.   

Did you know that it is possible to predict postpartum depression by

calculating how much a new mother slept in the last part of pregnancy, immediately after delivery and the first few postpartum days?  Low levels of sleep equal a high likelihood of depression in nearly everyone.  Considering that a new mother’s hormones undergo massive fluctuations and that she is on call 24 hours a day, is it any wonder that new moms are typically sleep deprived? 

            We know for a fact that increasing sleep can dramatically improve your overall sense of well being.  However, new moms can face two serious challenges.  The first is that babies are designed to wake and feed regularly, much more frequently than an adult.  They may sleep a lot, but their sleep is broken up into pieces.  Therefore, your sleep is broken into pieces and you cease to get the quality or quantity of sleep you used to.  Let’s face it.  Sleep deprivation is an effective form of torture.  If you find you’re only sleeping the equivalent of 4 or 5 broken up hours a day, is it any wonder that you stumble through your days and nights feeling like a zombie? 

            The good news here is that babies naturally learn to distinguish between day and night and gradually sleep longer stretches during the night.  This magical transition might not come soon enough for you, though, so I highly recommend an excellent resource, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley, available through the Mommy-Muse.com resources for new parents link.  This book offers a wealth of information and gentle ways to help your baby sleep through the night.  

            So let’s assume your baby is sleeping “reasonable” amounts of time, either because they were born that way (like a movie baby), or you worked with the ideas in The No-Cry Sleep Solution and helped them learn how.  Then the real question is: “Are you able to sleep when presented with the opportunity?”  If your baby is sleeping or another adult is caring for them while they are awake, can you sleep?  In my experience with postpartum depression, as with many women, the answer was no.  While I didn’t know it at the time, the inability to sleep is a warning sign that needs to be addressed.  I’ll address this issue and provide some supportive strategies in Postpartum Survival Strategies: Sleep, Part Two.

Here’s the inside scoop on my newly released e-book, The Essential Mommy-Muse.com™ Toolkit: 11 Empowering Keys for Your Journey into Motherhood.  Mommy-Muse.com™ co-founder Linda Semrau and I realized we often share the same information time and time again with our clients.  While each person’s journey is unique, there are essential tools that can empower every new mother in the profound transition into new parenthood.  I wrote The Essential Mommy-Muse.com™ Toolkit to give you immediate access to all the keys we use when beginning work with a new client.   

I compiled 11 tools into a self-coaching guide to help you through the profound transition to new motherhood.  It can also serve as an excellent guidebook for friends or family members who want to help a new mother, offering a deeper understanding of their loved one’s experience and knowledge of what is needed to help them feel better. 

The Essential Mommy-Muse.com™ Toolkit is not a substitute for therapy.  If you have postpartum depression, I advise you to work with a qualified healthcare provider to get help now.  However, this book can assist you in your journey and may provide you with exactly the tools you need to gather strength, reclaim and even enjoy your life again.

Rest assured that while each of the 11 keys I share is important, acting on even one of these areas will create a positive influence in your entire life.  Avoid the mommy trap of trying to fix everything at once.  Do start with the first three chapters.  After that, I recommend that you choose just one or two areas at a time to focus on.  The energy you gain from those changes will propel you forward into healing other areas as well. 

More information about The Essential Mommy-Muse.com™ Toolkit: 11 Empowering Keys for Your Journey into Motherhood is right here.  If you’re wondering about postpartum depression symptoms, check out Postpartum Mood Disorders: Are You Crazy or Normal.  Wherever you are on the postnatal spectrum, take heart and know that you are in good company.  Linda and I at Mommy-Muse.com™, along with countless others, have been through the challenging transition into new motherhood and come out the other side.  A world of help is available, and it begins here.