Welcome back!
I had a wonderful interview with Karen Pollak on this week’s episode of The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood on the VoiceAmerica.com Health & Wellness Network. Karen is a well-known perinatal and parent educator, and expert on infant and toddler sleep. For over 11 years, she’s mentored thousands of new and expectant parents and helped them thrive during this joyful but demanding time in their lives. She founded DoubleTalk: A Resource for New Parents of Twins and Babies2Sleep and offers workshops, seminars and private sessions throughout the San Francisco Bay area as well as nationwide. Karen’s practical and effective solutions to day-to-day challenges have consistently helped new mothers and fathers enhance the quality of their family life and establish positive relationships with their young children. I am including a helpful excerpt from one of her articles that you can access in its entirety at http://www.doubletalkfortwins.com/article_1.html
On your mark, Get set…TWINS!!!!!
By Karen Pollak
When your twins arrive, it might feel like you are running a race…or more like a marathon! Just the thought of the daunting tasks ahead can send expectant couples reeling. Can we care for two babies well? How will we ever have time for ourselves again? What about “us”? As when running a race, you can’t dwell on the miles behind you, just the miles ahead. As one new mother of twins put it, “Caring for newborn twins is like running a marathon at a sprinter’s pace!”
Here are some practical tips to prepare you for, and get you through, the initial post-partum phase. There will be lots of fits and starts along the way, so remember to be flexible, have realistic expectations, and most of all, enjoy the journey!
Scheduling
You may have already heard about “scheduling” your babies from other parents of multiples. It may sound like an odd concept, but it will undoubtedly give you the much-needed breaks you need to rest and refresh between the seemingly never-ending demands of your babies. It will also allow you maximum your enjoyment of the babies, as you will have more time with them, versus bouncing between them to manage their separate schedules.
The concept is this; once nursing/feeding is established, you have a sense of the babies’ temperaments, and take into account any health issues they may have, you can begin syncing their patterns, so that in time they are eating, sleeping and waking at the same time.
It is important to first maintain a log of their individual patterns, then assess in which direction you want to move the babies eating/sleeping/wake times. Are they eating two hours apart? Is one awake while the other asleep? By moving the babies’ activities in subtle time increments, five to fifteen minutes at a time, it won’t be long before the babies are sharing the same pattern and you can achieve some order to your days and nights, thus allowing you to incorporate other necessary tasks and rest periods into your schedule.
Developing a Support Network
For any new parent, having the support of those around you aids in the transition to parenthood. For multiples families, it can be quite overwhelming. Although you might be able to anticipate what some of your needs might be once the babies arrive, it is important to remain flexible, as there can be many unexpected realities. Planning ahead for help is something many expectant couples of multiples do. Whether it is a parent, sibling or other relative, a paid caregiver, au pair or volunteer, considering some help at home might be an option for you. If you so choose, there are many resources available. Nanny agencies, post-partum doulas, night nannies, mother’s helpers, and au pair agencies are available in nearly every community. Consider what your needs and wants are for anyone you hire, and make sure that your expectations are communicated up front. Additionally, be certain to thoroughly check references of past employers and contact the Trustline Registry to verify if your candidate is a registered care provider.
Making contact with other parents of multiples through local twins/multiples clubs is a direct line to those who understand your circumstances and can offer you the wisdom of their own experiences. The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs (NOMOTC) has a website full of resources, including information about clubs in your area. Its website is www.nomotc.org. For higher-order multiples, contact Mothers of Supertwins at www.mostonline.org. or The Triplet Connection at www.tripletconnection.org. Both organizations are nationwide and offer support, friendship and social gatherings for families of multiples.
There is so much to anticipate with the arrival of your twins. Planning ahead will ease your mind, but realize that you can’t anticipate every scenario. Just like that marathon, remain adaptable to the changes that your new family will bring. Be informed and gather the information you need to make the myriad of decisions that await you along the road. Lastly, surround yourself with a strong support system. Armed with that, you’ll cross the finish line with flying colors!
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