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Bringing home one new baby is a big challenge, but if you are a parent to newborn twins, you have double the challenges (and double the rewards) in store in the coming months. On a recent episode of The Mommy-Muse Is In: Empowering Your Journey into Motherhood, I spoke with perinatal educator and sleep coach Karen Pollak about the unique aspects of becoming a new parent of multiples.
Feeding and sleeping are typically the greatest challenges parents face when they bring their twins. Mastering the art of both takes more than a little effort. The task at hand becomes managing two often different babies, with different feeding schedules and different sleeping schedules. All this is to be done while fighting the sleep deprivation that is bound to come to new parents ““ regardless of the number of babies they are caring for. Here is some of the great advice Karen Pollak offers for the parents of twins as they adjust to their new role, including:
· Get to know each baby individually instead of “looking at them as bookends.”
· As soon as possible, get both babies on a tandem feeding schedule. This can be accomplished by gradually moving the time that babies are eating closer to one another, starting with just a few minutes forward or backward, depending on the most convenient time for you. “The baby who eats at eleven will eat at eleven fifteen. The baby who eats at twelve will now eat at eleven forty-five. In a matter of days, you”™re both eating at eleven thirty.”
· For nursing moms, accept the fact that your body may be unable to keep up with the demand being placed on it for milk, and look to a lactation consultant if needed. You”™re not a failure as a mother if you cannot breastfeed exclusively, so “give yourself permission to do what needs to be done to get the twins the nourishment that they need.”
· For those moms who choose not to nurse, “don”™t be overly concerned with what a lot of other people”™s opinions are around that. There is a lot of pressure in our society. Most women try to nurse or do nurse and as a mother of multiples, that can be very daunting in terms of the demands that are required of both time and body.”
· If your twins have older siblings, do your best to maintain a sense of normalcy for the older child. Strive to keep their routines as similar as possible to what they were before baby arrived, but allow them to feel included in taking care of their new twin siblings.
· Remember to ask for help when you need it, and rely on your network of helpers without feeling guilty. Don”™t turn down free help ““ even for small things like a run to the grocery store.
· Move yourself up from the bottom of your to-do list. Treat yourself like a “third child” to make sure that your own needs are met. “You wash your child, you feed your child, you nurture your child, and you make sure your child got the rest they needed. Sometimes, we as new parents don’t do those things for ourselves. Those things still have to be met.” Taking care of yourself is not selfish, but selfless, because it allows you to be a better parent to your children.
To find out more about what Karen Pollak has to offer, visit her website at http://www.doubletalkfortwins.com/.
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