I will check out some of these that you have mentioned. Always good to have a library of options available for my clients.

Thanks for the great post!

During my second pregnancy, I worried that I would lose the special relationship I had with my older child and thought it would be far more difficult for him than me, given that I was still the centre of his universe. I was very careful to do all I could to maintain our special relationship and to make sure that each day we got some one on one time.

I allowed my eldest son to hold his little brother whenever he ask to- he loved that I trusted him to do that. I continued to breastfeed the eldest even while I was feeding baby number 2 and found that helpful rather than difficult- I had a ready made milk supply. I had prepared my 2 yr old for the fact that the baby needs the milk to grow and found him telling me to feed the baby. I think it helped my eldest son to know he was still so important in my world and that I was still there for him as I was before.

I have always encouraged my eldest to help look after his little brother, to teach him and to play with him. He really does seem to feel a great sense of pride at being a good big brother.

When my third baby came along, my eldest was 8 and my middle child was 6. They have been in awe of the whole new baby experience. We allowed them to take part in choosing names (they all got vetoed but they were happy that we asked and pretended to consider their choices). They loved coming to the ultra sounds and looking at the pictures they got to take home. They both took the pictures for show and tell at school. They both adore their little brother and my middle child is proud as punch at being able to call himself a big brother now.

I think it helps a lot to allow the older children to be as involved as possible in the care and joy of having a new baby and to let them know that they are getting something very special from this. Try to reduce any feelings of loss and jealousy by focusing on what they will gain from it and acknowledge any jealous feeling that do come up by telling your child that it is a hard time for big brothers/sisters and their feeling are normal and understandable. I think even a 2 year old will be far more tolerant and welcoming of a new sibling if they are being shown tolerance and empathy from his parents.