Comments on: What To Do When You Don’t Feel Like A “Natural-Born” Mother http://www.mommy-muse.com/blog/2009/04/what-to-do-when-you-dont-feel-like-a-natural-born-mother/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-to-do-when-you-dont-feel-like-a-natural-born-mother The Official Mommy-Muse.com Blog Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:44:14 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: uberVU - social comments http://www.mommy-muse.com/blog/2009/04/what-to-do-when-you-dont-feel-like-a-natural-born-mother/comment-page-1/#comment-1620 uberVU - social comments Tue, 12 Jan 2010 01:22:52 +0000 http://www.mommy-muse.com/blog/?p=640#comment-1620 <strong>Social comments and analytics for this post...</strong> This post was mentioned on Twitter by mommymuse: What To Do When You Don't Feel Like A "Natural-Born" Mother http://tinyurl.com/c4h2jn... Social comments and analytics for this post…

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]]> By: Erin @ Things Moms Like http://www.mommy-muse.com/blog/2009/04/what-to-do-when-you-dont-feel-like-a-natural-born-mother/comment-page-1/#comment-864 Erin @ Things Moms Like Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:39:47 +0000 http://www.mommy-muse.com/blog/?p=640#comment-864 I did not feel like a natural-born mother. My mother was distant when I was growing up and we did not have a great relationship until the past couple of years (I'm 33). I did know that I wanted to parent my children differently, so set out on a mission to learn from others. I was 19 when I had my first child and none of my friends had babies, so I began to gravitate toward older women (20s, 30s) that had children to observe. I read books and when the internet became readily accessible to me, I joined parenting message boards and listservs to get ideas about the stages we were in and what was to come. Because I didn't have the best breastfeeding experience with my first, mostly due to lack of support and knowledge and modeling, I joined a local support group (LLL) while I was pregnant with my second because I knew that I needed help and knew where to get it. I found mothers there who parented like I did and I felt at home. We had weekly playgroups and, again, I observed and listened and shared and learned a LOT about myself and parenting style, both good and bad. As my children get older (13 and 6), I still watch other parents and read books and blogs for cues and tips because I am always learning. I will never stop learning because there is always another stage and my children are vastly different from each other, so the things I learned when my daughter was small do not apply at all in the parenting of my son. I just keep learning and try to remember that I don't have to know the answer because I wasn't "born" with parenting skills, so I acquire what I need and leave what I don't. I did not feel like a natural-born mother. My mother was distant when I was growing up and we did not have a great relationship until the past couple of years (I’m 33). I did know that I wanted to parent my children differently, so set out on a mission to learn from others. I was 19 when I had my first child and none of my friends had babies, so I began to gravitate toward older women (20s, 30s) that had children to observe. I read books and when the internet became readily accessible to me, I joined parenting message boards and listservs to get ideas about the stages we were in and what was to come. Because I didn’t have the best breastfeeding experience with my first, mostly due to lack of support and knowledge and modeling, I joined a local support group (LLL) while I was pregnant with my second because I knew that I needed help and knew where to get it. I found mothers there who parented like I did and I felt at home. We had weekly playgroups and, again, I observed and listened and shared and learned a LOT about myself and parenting style, both good and bad.

As my children get older (13 and 6), I still watch other parents and read books and blogs for cues and tips because I am always learning. I will never stop learning because there is always another stage and my children are vastly different from each other, so the things I learned when my daughter was small do not apply at all in the parenting of my son.

I just keep learning and try to remember that I don’t have to know the answer because I wasn’t “born” with parenting skills, so I acquire what I need and leave what I don’t.

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