My childbirth pain became more bearable when I chose it — thank you to my husband for getting in my face when I was freaking out with no pain relief (it was too late to give me any) and saying to me gently: “Andrea. Are you choosing this birth?” I suddenly realised that I did want to be there and SO wanted to meet my new baby. I chose it, surrendered, ‘dissolved’, and it was a powerful and very positive experience that the obstetrician and midwife both commented about afterwards.

I have tried to use this experience in subsequent painful times in my life to remind myself to surrender to the process and embrace the inevitable positive change that will occur as a result. Your analogy of the butterfly chrysalis and Martha’s description of dissolving is perfect. I didn”t know how to describe it properly until now.